Remembering the babies lost

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

According to the CDC in 2000 over 15% of pregnancies ended in miscarriage and stillbirth. Most of those parent's grieved in silence since it is something most people don't talk about. When going through my miscarriages I was amazed at how many people told me that they also had a miscarriage(s). For some reason it is one thing that people just keep hushed about. Today is a day to remember those babies.

Although I now have 2 wonderful children, not a day goes by that I don't think about the ones I lost. I no longer grieve for them, they just make me appreciate what I have so much more. That I once thought it was going to be impossible for me to give birth to a living child is what gave me the strength to get through a year of colic with Julia and be grateful for for it. And going through it again with Jude, I am just happy to have a baby, I can deal with the colic.

Since Jude has been born, everyone keeps saying how great it is that we now have one of each. What they don't understand is that we could have cared less if we had two girls or two boys, we were just thrilled to be able to have living children!

I don't talk about my miscarriages much anymore, because frankly, it is depressing to talk about dead babies. I also no longer dwell on them. I have just accepted that they have happened, they will always be a part of me, and appreciate the children I was given.

But on this one day, I take a few moments to remember what we lost.